Facebook, It’s Not You, It’s Me: Why Facebook Fails to Tickle Our Pickle

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Facebook, you’re hot. Really you are..

It’s just that .. well .. I don’t feel the same anymore. Once upon a time, I’d excitedly check my computer to see who added me as a friend, who wrote on my wall, or what event was going on.. even when I got my iPhone, I was razzed up – pop up notifications? Heck yea! Three people wrote on my wall .. sickkkkk!!! But that was then .. this is now. Facebook, I adore you but I think we might have to take a break .. (read: major time apart aka I am going to slore it up on different social media websites), and I’m sorry. I know you need closure, so here’s why I’m taking a step back from you:

  • Photos With 19,347,032 Likes
You know exactly what I’m talking about Facebook. The photos where if I like a picture of a little boy, someone will feed him for an extra day, or if I like a picture of a bunny it’ll happily hop forever. These photos create guilt within me, Facebook. Yesterday, I liked a photo I didn’t even like because it said “Like if you love your mom”. Obviously I love my mom, she’s a nifty creature, but I could have lived without the guilt. I now feel compelled to like these modern day chain letters, and I don’t like it one bit. It’s to the point where I scroll as fast as I can if I see a photo with 10,000 likes in fears of waking up whatever hoax it contains. Meh.
  • “Like”s Aren’t Titillating Anymore 
Likes were really exciting. REALLY exciting when they first came out. I remember the first time I got 11 likes on a status. It was a status about going to the beach in LA. Yup, I would have liked it too because well, I like the beach, and I like LA. Nowadays, people change their profile photos like they change underwear hoping for new daily likes. Everyone’s magically turned into a freaking photographer, and showcase their mobile uploads as the next work of art. The worst is when I write on someones wall, they respond, I respond, and we go back and forth and like every single one of each others comments. No I take it back, the worst is that I expect the other person and vice versa to like everything. Facebook, you’ve made “liking” a wee bit played out.
  • Timeline Has Visually Impaired Me 
I used to be able to go on my friends page, scroll down to see comments, photo albums, newly made friends, or any new page likes in a reasonable, fashionable order. I’m really not anal-retentive either, btw. I wake up late, hit snooze about 20 times, and fist pump as much as the next mellow yellow individual. I simply can not deal with the mess known as Timeline. It’s simply difficult. Timeline is an ugly ex-girlfriend who you thought you knew, only she turns out to be a flippin’ mess.
  • Twitter is the new black. Instagram is the new “50 Shades of Grey”.
They’re both hot. Twitter stole the fun out of what used to be updating your Facebook status. Twitter is where you could update your status, thoughts, and ramblings without looking prissy/annoying/douchebaggy – because well, you’re not connected to everyone you were with on Facebook. And don’t even get me started on Instagram. Not only is it easy – literally *snap*filter*post*like*- but it’s also not annoying. I can like someones photo and comment, and not have to receive 10 more notifications about how Bob, Bob’s mom, Bob’s cat, Bob’s cousin have all commented on the photo as well. Nowadays, a RT gets me all hot and bothered, as does getting 20 likes on Instagram. Cue: social media shivers.
  • Facebook, You’ve Changed
Fine, maybe you haven’t changed. I still go on Facebook to see what’s crackin’ with people I know. But that’s where it kind of ends. If I want to know what a celebrity is up to, obviously I go on Twitter, it’s faster than google! Social media has evolved into more than just a friend request, or writing on my wall. Social Media has become a real-time news/lifestyle/intellectual database, and I love it. It revs my engine (read: my mind, gutter mind!) like it hasn’t been revved before! So see, Facebook, I just want a little bit more out of my social media life than just seeing the same thing.
  • The Fam Bam is on Facebook
Everyone and their mother is on Facebook nowadays. Literally. And my Mother knows I get tipsy, but not “errrbody in the club get tipsyyyy” tipsy.  And I’ve turned into that child. The one who blocks her mother on facebook. Oh, the guilt.
With that said, I’ll be wrapping up this post, and probably updating my Facebook status and changing my profile picture soon. Gah, I keep going back for more. Admit it, so do you! 
For more life, style, beauty, and shades of sarcastic fun .. check us out on twitter and of course on facebook now!
Image source Laferle & Someecards



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4 Responses to "Facebook, It’s Not You, It’s Me: Why Facebook Fails to Tickle Our Pickle"

Add Comment
  1. PoshPinkGeek

    June 5, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Loved the writing style. I already broke up with Facebook a while ago, too “big fish, small pond” mentality and ya timeline, way too retarded.

    Reply
    • princessraji

      June 28, 2012 at 3:14 pm

      yea same here, it’s a bad relationship i have with facebook! i’m over it, but keep coming back due to boredom or because i keep expecting it to change.

      Reply
  2. emeralds82

    June 5, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Oh my god… you summed up the sick relationship i have with facebook.. i keep deactivating my account only to re-activate my account a couple of weeks later. I swing from loving FB to hating its guts… if this was a relationship … we would be in counselling.great post!!

    Reply
    • princessraji

      June 28, 2012 at 3:15 pm

      hahahaha that’s what it’s mean to be – for all of us who have a sad relationship with facebook LOL

      Reply

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