Stop. Stop it right there. I know what you’re doing right now, oh faithful reader of PrettyPlease – you’re judging me. First, I haven’t texted or called or blogged since before Baby North West was born/conceived (date of conception may be questionable, but that’s neither here nor there). Second, I showed up with an uber vague title which means WHAT Raji, WHAT! (I’m getting there I promise, I promise). Anywho, the POINT is that I’m BACK.
Now that we’re done being mad for the separation anxiety we caused, it’s time to get on with the purpose of my EXTREMELY vague title. So often, we are told to chase things in life. Here’s a minor layout as to what we’re supposed to chase in our lives:
Age 0 – 4: No one cares. Just learn your ABC’s. Learn how to share and get potty trained. This is the most legit time in your life – everyone has zero expectations from you other than don’t eat mud and don’t be that kid who starts screaming in the middle of an outing with your parents.
Age 5 – 18: You’re parents want the best for you. Hence, they start teaching you to chase. During this time period, you are told to chase grades. Anything lower than an A, and you need to keep chasing buddy. Once you get that “A” average, the next thing you’re going to be chasing will be the idea of your dream career. My amazing Indian parents thought I would be a doctor (fail, to this day I can’t look at a needle without crying), a lawyer (yea until I realized I hated the law), and an engineer (why couldn’t they understand I just wanted to be a princess??). So now you’re chasing your grades, the idea of career, and the pursuit of a top-tier college which brings me to..
Ages 18 – 22: College. This is where you roll up your sleeves, get into the nitty gritty, cue some Rocky fight music on Spotify and start chasing. CHASE THAT DIPLOMA, BABY! Cuz no diploma, no job.
Ages 22 – the rest of your life: M & M. Marriage and Money. Both marriage and money are great right? Yup, but what if I told you I can tell you two things to chase instead that will give you an even better future? It’s true. I’m effing badass, and I got your back, so LISTEN UP:
I get it. I get it. (Drake voice) Some people genuinely dream about their wedding day since the tender ages of 3 (I am rolling my judgmental eyes at these people, but hey let’s agree to disagree). For some people, their life goal is to find a suitable partner who will take care of all their needs and wants and then build a family with them – fair enough. I don’t disagree that marriage is and should be the end goal – but the entire pursuit of marriage becomes a frenzy for some people. Marriage is not a race to the alter – it’s simply the next natural step which should be taken when it is right to do so, not because you hit a certain age or your parents want a son-in-law (buy them a puppy, it might buy you some time).
START CHASING COMPANIONSHIP:
Instead of considering every single new person you date the potential to be your life partner and creating unnecessary expectations, start meeting people and understanding what they’re genuinely about. Focus on the individual – their traits, their habits, their values, and not whether or not they’d look great in a designer tux. Then enjoy each other – fully focus on what you want and what your partner wants – and when both sets of expectations align – gloriously move onto the next step.
I was absolutely guilty of this when I first got out of college. I took one of the first jobs that I was offered and ran with it – thinking, I will use this experience to work towards my dream job. Then of course, a common pitfall which happens to a LOT of us occurred – I became a slave to my paycheck. I got so caught up in chasing the dinero that I forgot to remember what I should be chasing: my dreams and my own goals. We get caught up chasing jobs which we think are going to make us so much money, which for the most part is great – but not when you don’t love what you do.
START CHASING YOUR CAREER:
This should be your focus. Chase your ambitions. What are you good at? What do you love doing? Then determine how to create the best career and roadmap for that ultimate goal. Because it’s true – when you love what you do, the money will gradually follow!
So your homework is to learn and love this equation: CC > MM. Chase companionship and your career, and stop chasing marriage and money. And yup, thank me later (via roses, only if they’re red). Till next time kittens! Xoxo!